Thursday, March 10, 2011

I Had A Happy Birthday! And I Cried


Cannot believe that it has been so long since I posted on my blog.

Time does fly....
Monday was my birthday...  We were finished with the house.  I went over there mid day and just went in and sat and stayed a spell.

I knew that it would be the last time that the little house would be empty and that there would be others living there and I would not be going in again for a long time.  I guess that is a good thing.  I just sat and listened to the quiet. Memories flooded my soul and even now my heart hurts.
Dennis did such a good job

with the little house. He put down the carpet and he finished the shower and tiled it! He is as handy as a pocket on a shirt.
This is living room looking into the kitchen and back bedroom. We left the little table with the two chairs and if they want to use it fine and if not we will take it out. 

This is from the kitchen looking into the living room and toward the front bedroom and front bath. The front door is just to the right. When Mom and Dad moved in we put up all new lights and ceiling fans.

This is the new shower. He did just a wonderful job. He tore out the tub and put down the floor and tiled the walls and installed all the plumbing and handles and knobs.  Not too shabby for a first time ..........  I should have bought a navy blue shower curtain but oh well.

Living room looking toward the front door that goes out on the deck.

I get up a lot at night,
I have trouble sleeping sometimes, and when I do get up I go out in my shop and work. My north window of my shop looks right over to the little house. Dad used to tell me that when he would get up at night and see the light on he would feel safe and get great comfort out of knowing we were there. After that I started leaving the shop light on all night.
I got up the other night and looked out the north window and left the light off and just worked in the dark.  Silly, I  know but they say time heals, and there has not yet been enough time. 

The deck. That is Mom's little flower garden just beyond the deck. She loved loved loved her flowers. I got that from her. My older brother and myself are the only ones in the family with a green thumb and a love for the dirt.....  We got that from her and from Dad.                   

I have taken the bench from the house and put it on my back porch. Not able to see someone else siting there. BUT I did leave two chairs one in each corner for them. After sitting a spell inside I sat a spell outside, and I cried. Just too much for me even now.  Just too much. 

I am moving the garden 

from in front of the little house, moving the flowers to my back yard into one big flower garden this year. I am putting up blinds on the north window of my shop, there are going to be nights that I want to work and need to turn the light on.
Things change and time goes and memories that bring tears will one day bring a smile. I look forward to that day. 

 I think Mom and Dad would enjoy knowing that their little house now has two very nice people living there. I too am thankful that the Lord answered our prayers and brought us the perfect  renters. But I would trade all that I have to see these two little faces sitting on that porch just for one day.

Birthdays are  wonderful when you consider the alternative.

Cards and flowers who could ask for anything more!  It is hard to see them but the roses are lavender and they  match the card that my sweet bought me.


I was treated to dinner out with my sweet husband and my wonderful son and and and BOTH of my wonderful brothers. What a treat! I do not remember the last time we were all together except for the two services for Mom and Dad.   We went to a really nice Italian Restaurant and the food was wonderful but the company was beautiful blessing.

My son got me a butt load 

of garden tools that I NEEDED  so bad . New rakes and new limb cutters and new hoe and gloves. Now that might not seem to be the perfect gift to you but for this gal it was WONDERFUL!     

My sweet brother Larry  and his crazy wife Marty got me smell good stuff which I can always use and the other brother PE and wife Alpha picked up the ticket for my dinner.

My sweet sweet husband

got me a bike and we are headed to Tulsa this weekend to pick it up!   I do not remember the last time I rode a bike. There is plenty of places to ride out here in the country and we are looking forward to getting some exercise and fresh air. (He is buying him a new one also)
Sooooooooooooo  you see

I had the most wonderful bitter sweet day this past Monday.......... 

Life is good .........

God is faithful and HE has given me the gift of the love of my family and the hope of tomorrow..........  

Love you gals!



  1. So glad you had a wonderful Birthday and praying GOD will continue help you through the season of change with your parents home.

  2. Denise, even as much as it still hurts, and the pain is still there, I felt such a sweetness in your post. That's the trouble when we love deeply --- we then hurt deeply. Isn't it wonderful that we have a hope that is sure???!!!! Walk today with Him, my friend, and He will hug you, and remind you that the day is coming closer when all your faith and hopes will be sight and you will see them again! So glad your birthday was full of sweetness! You deserve every bit of it!

  3. Happy Birthday and congrats on your new house. I'm sure your Mom and Dad are delighted!


  4. Denise, Happy Belated Birthday wishes to you!!! You sure have been a busy bee!!! Enjoy your bike and all of the lovely weather you are having.

    I loved the story about leaving the light on. Yes, we do things out of love and to hold on to a memory or a special thought.

    much love,

  5. Thanks for your comment on my post and Happy Belated Birthday to you. I remember when my Dad died my Mother decided to go to the Retreat Center at our church. It took her a while to decide, but I knew with the problems I have that if anything happened to her I could not take care of her. After she got there she said she just walked up some steps from the center into the church and that it was like walking into Heaven. We had to sale her house and after she moved we decided to move closer to where she was. Yes, there are bitter sweet memories when we look back at our homes which were side by side or on two different lots.

    But one day we will see them again and what a happy reunion that will be.
    Blessings and prayers,

  6. My heart goes out to you...I can not even imagine what it is like for you at this point..don't even want to imagine what it is like to have lost both of your parents so close together. I hurt for you sweet sister and I rejoice that this pain will not last forever and that you will see your parents soon.
    I love the fact that you were such a comfort to your the part about you leaving the light on....what love. I think that made Jesus smile.
    I am glad that your Birthday was surround by sweet people and great food....what a blessing. It was just sweet to hear you retelling the things that had touched your heart so. Hugs....and I love ya!

  7. Denise, first...Happy Birthday!! Hope it was a great day! Second, I cried when I read what your dad told you when he would see your light touched my heart. I know how you feel. My sweet little mother loved living with us and knowing when she would call for me at night, I'd be we approach her one year heaven home-going in May, I miss her more and more! The grieving process is sometimes long, I least for me.

    Bless you my friend!


  8. I know how you feel sweetie.....It gets easier but then something comes along, a song or a memory and that is all it takes to set me off...I was with my Sisters and Brother Saturday night...we had some high winds the week before. My Sister had taken a photo of Mother and Daddy's house. They had a metal awning on their front porch and the wind had bent it back over the roof...We still call it their house even though my niece and her family live there now...All I have to do is go walk around in the yard and memories call to me...Its still hard to do that...There is a song I think Dottie Rambo sang it...I've Got More to Go to Heaven For than I had Yesterday....What a sweet reunion that will be.
    Tomorrow morning, first thing, Daughter and SIL are telling the children...keep praying.
    Love you,
    Mama Bear

  9. A very bittersweet birthday indeed! One never stops missing their parent/s, yes it does get easier but you never stop missing them. You hubby did a wonderful job renovating their little house and I have no doubt that the new renters are going to love living there. I also have no doubt that your parents are smiling and happy that their home is now being lived in again:-)

    It sounds like you had a fabulous birthday after all and how special that you could all be together to celebrate. You deserve to be happy:-) I just wish I could have been there to help you celebrate!! xoxo

  10. Hey sweetie, I'm so sorry I'm late to the party but I hope ya had a wonderful birthday!

    Sounds like Hubs took care of everything with style!!!

    I too have those Dad moments. I lost him in Oct last year and some of the silliest little things trigger the tears again.

    Have a beautiful day sweetie filled with warm fuzzy blessings.

    Oops...I almost forgot...the house looks marvelous! :o)

  11. Time heals. . .Jesus Heals. ..You will never forget. . .Great memories, hold them close my friend. Dennis did a wonderful job!!You will be back in there with your New FRIEND having coffee someday and it will be sweet:)


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