This morning it is quiet here. My sister is still with Mom so I have a day to just rest. I was unprepared for the death of my father. Of course I knew that one day he would go to be with the Lord but a heart cannot prepare for such grief. I understand today the total dependence of the love of the Christ that bore my grief, for without that gift we could not endure the pain.
The service was beautiful. My Dad was a grower for years and before the war he grew long stem red roses. Thus I had two beautiful arrangements made to sit each side of Dad and it was only long stem red roses. The air was filled with such a sweet smelling fragrance.
Dad had a military service with the 6 gun salute and taps. The Air-force was there in their dress blues and they folded the flag and presented the flag to my older brother. It was a day of great heartache but a day of great rejoicing. Dad was so weary and tired and now he dances.
While getting ready yesterday morning I was standing in front of my mirror fixing my hair and just as quickly as a blink of an eye I saw my Dad sitting on a bench. He was about 40 something and he had his feet crossed as that is they way that he sat. He was sitting sideways and there was a smile on his face. It was quickly gone and I was left with great peace.
He will be sitting there when I get to see him again.
Now comes the heart wrenching task of mother. Her dementia is progressing rapidly and she does not even remember yesterday or the grave side. She is 24/7 and I am not able to do that. We have found a wonderful place about 30 miles from here an that will be her new home soon. We have been there a couple of times and my brother Paul is a good friend of the owner an he knows most of the staff. That is a good thing.
I will struggle in the coming day and I peer across the yard at the little house where they have lived for 3 years. I know that in the coming months grief will turn to sweet memories and heaven has become and will become much sweeter for me.