Back To The Blog

It is time for me to get back to the blog and get my game on..........  (what does that mean)?   Thanks for the lovely emails and comments. I had a really really bad day yesterday but I think I have crossed a threshold.  At least I think I have.  

As most of you know I lost my precious dad on July 2nd and even typing that here it does not seem real.  He has been right here out side my back door for 3 years. I walked across that yard 3-4 time a day for a long time and the last few months I spent many hours over there..I think that I have not even began to grieve, however I now have my mom in the house with me and Dennis and I can tell you it has changed my life. I wish I could say for the good but no it is not for the good and I am really really working and adjusting. However with all my adjusting yesterday just caught up with me and I crashed.  

Mom has Dementia/Alzheimer's and her short term memory is about 3 minutes if that.  If that is not bad enough mom is a hypochondriac and has been for years and years and now with the D/A it very very exaggerated.  Most of the day she moans, and if you ask her what hurts she will tell you her head and by the time you get her a Motrin something for her head she says there is nothing wrong with her head and it is her back or her legs or her shoulders.  Hard to know when she really needs something for pain and when the hypochondria in her is talking.  AND that is 24/7, and hardly ever stops.

NOW ladies, I love my mom very very much but there are days..   

She has stopped asking for Dad and now she is wanting to go home, so I am hoping that will pass as well. Lots of days she cries a lot and that breaks my heart so I just cry with her. 

What a roller coaster ride I am on. 

Some of you have told me to make sure and get some help, but ladies the help that should have been here walked away without a second thought about mom or the rest of the family. We have a beautiful little house sitting right next door to us that was offered rent free to stay here and go to college (we offered to pay the tuition and books) she just had to live here and help with mom. She walked away and never looked back and has not even called mom. So be it.  We all make decisions in our lives that we will one day regret and I have no idea how she will handle what she has done. 

I have home health nurse coming in Mon-Wed-Fri. but they are here for just a half hour or so, and the aid and the PT girl is here on  Mondays and Thursdays to bath mom and to do her exercises, but they are here for just an hour or so.

I have hired a gal to come in on Wednesdays at 10-3 so I can plan any appointments like hair and shopping.  It helps but when you talk about 24/7 the few hours that they are here in the house is just not enough. 

BUT today I am much better and after letting go of such disappointment in the other person and letting go of some things that were just dragging me down and looking toward the Father God who is the author and finisher of my faith. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I have decided to leave FB for the most part, I will go over there some because there are friends there that are not blogger's but I am happy to be back here.

I was just overwhelmed with all the cards and ecards when I lost dad...  thank you again, and thank you for the prayers as I figure this out and take care of my mom. 

I am going to stop writing now and get out in the blog and visit.. I have sure missed each of you.